NYCCR CENSORED - EP74: MOPED MENACE, MURDER, MADNESS

FROM the smallest room in New York City, comes a show that gives you a reason to live.

A guy is shot dead on the subway, no one knows why and to be honest, I'm probably fine with it going unsolved.

Why? I have something called White People instincts.

Now, I don't live in NYC anymore, but in the 16 yrs I was there, i learned things. One, avoid Violent Brooklyn most of the time. Obviously, don't go to the Bronx unless you're going to a baseball game or to meet some high-functioning Italians for lunch or early dinner on Arthur Avenue. Unless you have some compelling reason, don't even wander above 125th Street.

Shootings, stabbings, random-ass shit, it all seems to happen much more often in these areas, and that includes the subway platforms and trains.

If these assholes want to shoot each other, fck 'em, I won't be around and the guy doing the shooting today is just as likely to get popped tomorrow.

With the sorry state of criminal justice in New York - and specifically in the City - people there should relax and understand that this is one of those times when philosophical notions blend well with stark realism. Don't worry, be happy and all the shit will shake out however it does.

A guy hung himself in a 7-train tunnel. It's a weird place to do that. Some sort of statement, I believe. Gotta be, because it's sure as fck not a practical thing. It's one of the most uncomfortable ways to do that I can think of. The track bed is nasty, lousy with rats and I'm sure it's only worse once you get inside the tunnel. Fck that noise, I can find a better way to get where I'm going.

In this episode, we have multiple instances of, not just crime, but LAWLESSNESS. There's a difference. Mainly, the moped assholes who asshole around ignoring the traffic norms and laws, doing whatever their asshole hearts desire.

This shit leads inevitably to actual criminality, and a couple of these pricks have now driven their machines into police officers. One got away, one didn't, we've got some video.

Likewise, there's video in here of a 53-yr-old gal who walked out into the middle of a busy Queens intersection and basically waits to be hit, which didn't take long. Two vehicles, dead lady, nobody stayed on the scene, no suspects are in custody. This lady must've wanted to die. It might be a worse way to do it than swinging inside the 7-train tunnel.

A yellow cab driver hit two mf's in midtown after blowing a red light. The rules are probably different where he's from, but I hope he got a big tip all the same.

And here's the one I can't get over. A guy KIDNAPPED a doctor, held him at gunpoint and forced him to spend $6,000 on haircuts, strip clubs, pizza and smoothies. Bail was originally a million dollars. Then they just LET HIM OUT. He promised to return to court.

In the meantime, he gets arrested for stealing a guy's iPhone, wallet and credit cards. He was caught because he used the Apple Pay on the phone at a smoke shop in Washington Heights. He was trying to buy a charger.

Kidnapping - and all the other charges that go along with holding a 32-yr-old doctor at gunpoint while robbing him for smoothie money - used to be pretty serious. But he walked out, gave a fake address (where his "baby mama" lives) and would still be free if he wasn't such a fcking dumbass.

You really do have to figure it all works itself out.

Jan 19th, 2024